Top 10 Reasons I Didn’t Answer Your Personal

Just incase you girls think I am favouring the males, here is a girls take on things to to with online dating profiles:

So it is Spring and that means I’m feeling like coming out of my comfty cocoon and dating a bit more. My schedule is less insane than it has been so why not right? Anyhooo, I started to surf personal sites again (gasp) Yes, it is true I looked and it seems that some people are still making the same bad choices in how they present themselves. So as a little service I present the following list of why someone (namely me) didn’t reply to “your” personal ad.

Ten: The photo of you standing next to the Mercedes in a parking lot not only makes me think I’m browsing the car’s personal but that it is probably some random car you found outside the mall.

Why, why, why must men do this? If I wanted to date a car I’d be looking in Car & Driver. I don’t want to see your new chrome rims, I wish to see you. For more photo tips see my Guide to Photo Sharing for Men.

Nine: You are looking for your princess. To emphasize this point you caption a photo of you holding a teddybear with the words “Where are you my beautiful princess?”

This is an oldie but a goodie actually. Guy not only responded to my ad with this photo but followed it up with other photos of the bear and he in different positions with a variety of captions. Although his email insisted he had never written a letter to any woman online before it made me feel somewhat better to imagine that he didn’t create the bear rendezvous just for me. I also had a strong urge to rescue the poor bear from a certain smarmy fate.

Eight: Your membername contains “DesperateLonelyGuy”.

Does that name make you as hot and bothered as me? Yeah, thought so. C’mon seriously, it is all in the framing people. Nothing wrong with being a little lonely but this kind of marketing isn’t going to get you anything but a quick skip to the next profile. Speaking of the next profile…

Seven: You either have a job working as the Marketing Director for Anheuser-Busch and your photo was taken at an event, or you have way more beer art than a grown man should have in his living room.

OK, the neon beer signs were cute when you were 18. The collection of empty beer bottles commerating different life events was even possibly worldly in your early 20s. But hellooo you’re well over 30 now. Isn’t frat life getting a wee bit tiring come Monday mornings?

Six: From looking at your 10 photos posted it appears you don’t own a single shirt.

Yes, I appreciate a nice chest on a man. Bonus points for great shoulders even. But when your entire pic collection starts looking more like an International Male catalog than an introduction to someone special it is perhaps time to rethink what you’re posting.

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